Zombie-esque apocalypse plus blood harvesting, and some other stuff...

Feature #3: Night of the Comet (1hr 35mins; Rated PG-13)

Date of release: November 16, 1984

Written and Directed by: 

Thom Eberhardt who's other works include 1983's zombie horror film Sole Survivor, another run at the "awkward teen trying to survive one crazy night genre" in The Night Before (1988)starring a young Ted from the local San Dimas band Wyld Stallyns, and 1993's Captain Ron starring everyones favourite patch wearing antihero Snake Plissken.

Starring: 

Catherine Mary Stewart as Reggie the guardian of the highest scores on Tempest at the El Rey Cinemas concession arcade, and one of the last survivors in LA or possibly the world... You may also know her as Alex Rogan's girlfriend Maggie in The Last Starfighter (July 13, 1984). Oddly enough Alex was also a video game connoisseur. Aside from many appearances on TV she also had a role in that stupid, hangover nursing flick Weekend at Bernie's (1989).

Kelli Maroney as Sam, Reggie's younger cheerleader sister who's tired of her overbearing bitch stepmother and being in the shadow of big sis'. Maroney also played a cheerleader in 1983's monumental and groundbreaking tribute to contemporary juvenile life in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. She Probably wore the same cheer uniform to this films audition and the casting director said, "I like her, she looks like that cheerleader from Fast Times". 

Robert Beltran as Hector the truck driver from San Diego. Hector's hobbies include fucking strange women, fighting off home invasions from zombies, strapping dynamite to bad guys vehicles and adopting orphaned children during an apocalypse. When not scavenging for food and weapons in the desolate streets of LA he also moonlights as first officer Chakotay on board the USS Voyager.

Mary Woronov as Audrey White, the scientist who becomes disillusioned with the current state of the world and any possiblility of survival. Woronov seems to be an institution within the horror/Sci-fi/campy/shlock film genre. According to the wonderful world of the internet Woronov began her career in films as one of Andy Warhol's Superstars. Most notably in Screen Tests and the Exploding Plastic Inevitable, the latter was a multimedia event which mixed visual art (experimental film and dance) and the music of The Velvet Underground and Nico, plus appearances from many of Warhol's factory models.

And - Geoffrey Lewis as Dr Carter, another scientist and think tank leader of the underground survivalists who is desperately trying to harvest as many bodies as possible in order to stop a zombie-blood mutation that the comet exposed most people to during the night. Mr Louis is a long time character actor that you could probably find in at least 1 or 2 movies every year since 1971. 

Quick note: Actors Maroney, Beltran and Lewis have acted in a least one other film with Woronov aside from Night of the Comet.

Woronov/Beltran - Eating Raoul (1982)

Woronov/Maroney - Chopping Mall (1986)

Woronov/Lewis - The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Well we're back in 1984, and let me just say that my criteria for choosing films is vast and wide. But for the first few entries I'll probably be covering some that I've been meaning to review for a long time and I just want to get them out of the way before moving on to other pop-trash treasures. 

1984 is the year that brought us the prediction of what might happen if astronauts and cosmonauts put aside their differences during the assumed continuation of the Cold War within the 21st century and finally found out why HAL went bat shit on board the Discovery back in old 2001. 

Meanwhile back on earth, everyone is getting ready to see some shit float by in the sky as the earth passes through the tail of a comet. Supposedly the last time this happened was 65 million years ago and resulted in the extinction of the dinosaurs. Already we're headed for disaster. 

Down at the local El Ray Cinema, Reggie, our female hero (cause the word heroine in just stupid, since she's an actress trying to stay in character pretending to survive an apocalypse then lets just call her methadone right?) is shown really taking her video gaming seriously and can't be bothered with clean-up duties which her boss insists that she get to so he'll be able to close up and check out the comet like everyone else. Reluctantly Reggie abandons her game and makes her way up to the projection booth to hook up with her fuck buddy and part time salesman of cinema property Larry.  A throwaway cameo by Michael "Guy who can play a real dick in your movie" Bowen; his other credits include Buck "who came here to fuck" from Kill Bill vol.1 (2003), Tommy from Vally Girl (1983) and the male prostitute pimp enforcer Hop from Less Than Zero (1986).

While Reggie is busy with Larry at the cinema, Sam, Reggie's little sister, is learning boxing tips from her stepmother after accusing her of sleeping around while her and Reggie's father (a Green Beret) is off fighting communism. Sam avoids her mother for the rest of the evening by sleeping in a metal tool shed, while unbeknownst to her and anyone else who spent that night inside an insulated structure, the rest of (I guess) the people on earth were either disintegrated to dust or turned into zombified killers attacking people when they open doors and holding them hostage for dark comic relief. 

Both Reggie and Sam meet up with Hector, the truck driver at a local radio station to see if they can contact any other survivors over the airwaves. Hector is dealing with the very possible recent loss of everyone he has know including the woman he slept with the night before, and tells both Sam and Reggie that he'll drive down to San Diego to find out if anyone from his family is still alive but promises to return. 

While both sisters have a petty fight over who gets to be with possibly the last man on earth, a team of underground scientists are plotting to capture them and bring them back to their underground lab for "spare parts".

Throughout the rest of the film, we the audience are treated to a shopping montage to the music of a back-up studio singer performing Girls Just Want to Have Fun, a stand off between the sisters and some very bored zombie dickheads, Hector facing off with an pissed-off flesh eating kid and a team of scientists holed up in an underground base/lab/compound or whatever, attempting to collect as many survivors out there and utilise them to give themselves blood transfusions so they themselves won't turn into zombies. (Long isn't it). Collecting people and putting them into comas kind of reminds me of the film Coma (1978) by the great Michael Crichton. Always love his work.

Since this was an unusual mix of genres, there wasn't much else that could compare in 1984. However if you liked this one and want to see others cut from similar celluloid then check these out:

Five (1951)

The Last Woman on Earth (1962)

The Day of the Triffids (1962) ****CULTurally significant

The Omega Man (1971) ****CULTuarlly significant

Dawn of the Dead (1978) ****CULTurally significant

Liquid Sky (1982)

Above information courtesy of Wikipedia!

According to the tomato website and various other sources this one is rated very high with the critics. I personally think the film is pretty good up until the end when it just up and fucking dies with the Neo-LA post-comet family throwing the pigskin around while some really out of place shitty dentist-soft rock song plays over the credits. I guess production was strapped for cash and they needed something in the can immediately. Also I'm still not 100% on how some people became zombies and others didn't. But that's just nit pick shit. As for a mash-up of genres, Night of the Comet gives a decent execution. Unfortunately, just like Runaway, it too was released just after The Terminator barley surviving the slaughter of those in the wake of James Cameron.

VHZ Final Review: ***Check it out

Copyright © 2013 VHZ Film Review. All rights reserved

I'll trade you a flux capacitor for a plasma ball...

Feature #2: My Science Project (1hr 34mins; Rated PG-13)

Date of Release: August 9,1985

Written And Directed by: Jonathan R. Betuel, writer of the '84 sci-fi classic The Last Starfighter and supervising producer of the TV series Freddy's Nightmares.

Starring:

John Stockwell as Michael, the pretty boy gear-head. Although his well know acting credits are limited to ‘80s supporting roles like Spider in Losin’ It (1983) and Dennis in Christine (1983), but his most recognizable role is probably the extremely stressed out fighter pilot Cougar who surrenders his wings in Top Gun (1986). Lately he’s gone behind the camera to direct films like Blue Crush (2002) and SEAL Team Six: The Raid on Osama Bin Laden (2012).

Danielle von Zerneck as Ellie, the girl that thinks she’s dating Michael.When not fawning over a gear head Danielle also portrays Ritchie Valens’ girlfriend in La Bamba (1987).

Fisher Stevens as Vince, his role includes the guido sidekick who spouts non-stop one liners and a some what comedic narrator, cause apparently this story is a bit complicated for the average film goer. Mr. Stevens is mostly known for being the other comedic stereotype in both Short Circuit films (’86and ’88) and recently as a producer for the 2009 documentary The Cove.

And - Dennis Hopper as former hippie turned high school science teacher Dr. Roberts. Mr. Hopper simply channels the photojournalist he played in Apocalypse Now and spazzes out for most of his scenes. I enjoyed him better when he was a reserved terrorist holding passengers on a bus hostage while Neo took some time out of his busy simulated fighting schedule to stop him.   

     Lets go back to the summer of 1985, where in the wake of some really innovative,funny, quotable and just all-round great films (in a very memorable year) there were some less-fortunate movies that hoped to maybe collect some of the spare change from moviegoers who weren't ready to call it an evening.

MyScience Project is a Sci-fi/high school comedy story set around a group of high school students who come in contact with a alien orb or sphere that serves as either a portal or worm hole/vortex to other time-dimensions. When opened,through the powers of an electric surge, it extracts people or things from these other time-dimensions and dispatches them throughout a high school campus to wander the halls and cause havoc.

We begin our story with a little trip back in time to a secret military air base where President Eisenhower is made aware of an alien life form that had crash-landed on earth. When asked what should be done, his response is simply "Get rid of it."

Cut to present day (1985):

     Ourhero, Michael is a gear head. He's obsessed with muscle cars and throughout themovie, as if it was a nervous tick, he'll remind everyone in his presence hereally wants to get back to working on his car. What drives the plot forward is Michael's need to get a passing grade in science class, and since he's spent all of his waking hours romancing his dreams of being a grease monkey he's forced to find "something" to turn in as his senior project in order to graduate. (That old gag.)

     Recently Michael has been shadowed by the very needy school journalist named Ellie, who has her own deadline, to write a piece on Michael! As if anyone at that school would fucking read that shit! In order to get her story Ellie tags along with Michael as he breaks in and sifts through an airplane bone yard to, again, find"something" to turn in for his project. Kind of reminds me of the comedian Brian Regan's bit "Cup of Dirt". Check it out and you'll get what I mean.

     Anyways Michael falls through the roof of a bunker and finds the alien orb that we were told about in the beginning of the film. By the way this alien orb looks like one of those plasma balls that you could find at Spencer's Gifts.I guess the bone yard doubles as the military's "get rid of it"pile. 

     After plugging in the alien orb to a wall socket while in shop class, Michael and his gear head sidekick Vince witness the first of many crazy things this orb can do when it comes in contact with electricity. This event opens portholes to several dimensions and later we are treated to our heroes having to face off with characters from history, right in their very own high school! I know, this movie is totally out of control!

     Okay so the story is complete cheese. You can tell that this is one of those situations when two films or maybe a few films that share similarities in story content are in production at the same time, and that they tend to borrow from one another. Then when they are released, while you're watching them at the cinema your subconscious automatically critiques and compares them. Later on when you develop blogs like this one you can share these random thoughts with whoever will spend their toilet time skimming through this amateur film critic fecal matter. (Just a bit of self-deprecation).

     Like the previous years sci-fi bummer Runaway, My Science Project was released just after a handful of other similar themed films that faired far better both financially and with audiences. 

     John Hughes kept his championship run afloat with a slightly goofy take on The Bride of Frankenstein meets virgin geeks in Weird Science (released 2 August 1985). By the way, I personally think that the scenes with pre-Aliens Corporal "Bill Paxton" Hicks are hands down the funniest parts of this movie. That guy plays a royal DICK way too well.

     Not more then 5 days after Weird Science swept the cinemas, another film, nay,tribute to all geeks, weirdoes, dweebs, bookworms, eggheads, Popular Mechanics collectors and chemistry kit creeps got to live out a fantasy through the likes of Val Kilmer in the science comedy classic Real Genius. I wonder how many other kids out there saw this film and were inspired for maybe just a moment to hit the books hard and hope to one day be enrolled in a private tech school just like in the movie. Then immediately after the credits rolled those same kids would run to the fridge,grab a soda, catch a glimpse of a bright sunny day out the window and quickly abandon pursuing a career at NASA and instead practicing the art of grabbing 3 seconds of air time on the half pipe.

Some other notable sci-fi films from that year include:

Brazil

Cocoon

Enemy Mine

Lifeforce

D.A.R.Y.L.

The Quiet Earth

Morons from Outer Space

Explorers

Mad Max: Beyond Thunder Dome

     The big daddy of the year and possibly/arguably one of the best films to come out of the '80s was the other time travel film from 1985 - Back to the Future. Its hard to compete with a behemoth like this one but if you're a producer looking to make a few extra bucks from the run-off of repeat viewers that Back to the Future had then why not insert some similarities into your own bare bones script. Both films protagonists are"slackers" who are far more interested in their passion projects(cars/music) then they are in school. They also have a sorcerer and apprentice relationship with a middle aged man in the field of science. There's the device that, when charged with copious amounts of electricity will open a portal that allows people or things to travel through time. 

     Then there is the ever-present doom scenario where if the "thing" is not turned off, or the "situation" is not corrected, then everything our protagonist has known could be affected by the theory of the grandfather paradox. 

     There are plenty of other similarities between the two and no doubt the producers of both films were aware of this at the time. And although only one had gone on to be a cultural phenomenon, the jury's still out on who's a better sounding bar band:Huey Lewis and the News or The Tubes...

VHZ Final Review: **Drunken late night fodder

COPYRIGHT @ 2013 VHZ Film Review. All rights reserved.

For my first entry lets go back to late 1984...

Tonight's Feature: Runaway (1hr 40mins; Rated PG-13)

Date of release: December 14, 1984

Written and Directed by: Michael Crichton - Yeah the guy who wrote Jurassic Park, and other stuff. (Just kidding, he's great.)

Starring:
Tom Selleck as Sgt. Jack Ramsay - The Magnum years.

Cynthia Rhodes as Jack's new partner and is known for being in a shitload of dance movies and music videos. Think Xanadu, that shitty sequel to Saturday Night Fever, Flash Dance and Dirty Dancing. You get the idea.

Gene Simmons as the bad acting bad guy Dr. Charles Luther. Later on when I found out he was the bassist for Kiss, their choice to wear makeup when they perform TOTALLY makes sense. Just compare a picture of Gene wearing the makeup on stage and not wearing the makeup off stage and you'll get the idea.

Kirstie Alley as Luther's ex-lover Jackie with the pretty eyes. One of her pre-Cheers roles. She always sounds like she needs a cough drop.

And - G. W. Bailey as the go-to-guy to portray a high ranking police officer in anything. Just look up the Police Academy series and that TV show The Closer. If there is ever a role to be typecast in, then playing a cop is it. It's guaranteed work!

This is one of those films that belongs in the pantheon of movies that I watched repetitively as a kid and never seemed to get tired of. Then as I entered Jr. High, other distractions like girls, sports and being in tune with what was at the time 'cool' replaced my weekend routine of popping in a VHS tape and plugging into the 'Video Head Zone'.
I was able to get some clips on YouTube to refresh my memory, and like a faint smell or riff of an old song from back in the day, all that I remembered of this film resurfaced like a bad habit.
In brief the story takes place in the near future where society has been integrated with robots. Our main hero is police Sargent Ramsay (Selleck) who's a single father and works in a special branch of the police department that handles robotic affairs. Ramsey has recently been partnered up with the bright and energetic Karen (Rhodes). Early on we are treated to a domestic disturbance where a service robot has taken a family hostage. After defusing the problem Ramsay notes that the robot was programed with some kind of new chip that will basically bypass one of the main laws of robotics that deters robots from becoming harmful to humans. Although there is no reference to it in this film these laws were created by Isaac Asimov.
Later on we find that the main antagonist is legendary rocker Gene Simmons who is not only a mad robotics expert that terrorises people with his evil mass produced microchips and acid injecting mechanical spiders, but is also ugly as hell without the demon make-up.
The script plays like your basic cop thriller. You've got the veteran cop who has to balance being a single parent, breaking in a new partner and possible love interest, a job where he is constantly at odds with the sceptics in his department and the growing obsession with taking down an unpredictable psychopathic villain.
Some notable scenes include an extraction of an exploding bullet from Officer Karen's arm. A sort-of car chase where Ramsay, Karen and Kirstie's character have to swap cars while in motion in order to escape a set of tracking missiles that look like RUMBAs hunting them along a busy street. And not 1 but 2 hostage exchange scenes that end badly for at least one person involved. We also get to see what its like from the point of view of the tracking missile bullet; kind of like seeing the swimmers panic from the sharks point of view in Jaws.
The acting isn't that bad but you do have to take into consideration the 'historical context' or when the film was shot to not be too harsh when judging the films look and feel of the future. Like most Sci-fi films there will be a lot of over estimated predictions of man's integration with robots in society and ridiculous or cheaply conceived technology (usually this stems from the films budget). Not to mention the case of the director or props manager creating nonsensical or useless shit that even in the context of the story, the "it" thing, whatever it may be is really impractical and could have easily been cut out of the film along with characters that are introduced early on and then never mentioned again.
Runaway definitely had potential, especially for the time since it was written by Mr. Crichton himself. It could have easily been another rehash of Westworld but he tweaked it and went in another direction. Unfortunately for Runaway it was released at the ass-end of a year filled with other Sci-Fi gems that, for the most part, have all established cult status.

Some of these include:
Dreamscape
Repo Man
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
2010: The Year We Make Contact
Dune
Nineteen Eighty-four
The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension
Starman
The Philadelphia Experiment
The Last Starfighter

The one film that really erased Runaway from most audiences memories was the monolith that came out earlier that October called The Terminator. Yeah that one. Lets face it, pretty much all of these I have mentioned were eclipsed once James Cameron unleashed his Sci-fi/action movie, industry game changer. Cyborgs, time travel, an uncertain future or maybe a countdown to the apocalypse... Sorry Runaway you had no chance.

VHZ final review: ***Check it out


Copyright © 2013 VHZ Film Review. All rights reserved.